


Safe, Sane, Consensual

by sarcastic_fi



Series: Safe, Sane, Consensual [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: BDSM, BDSM Big Bang, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-16
Updated: 2012-09-16
Packaged: 2017-11-14 09:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fi/pseuds/sarcastic_fi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the bdsm_fandom big bang 2012. Reid is a submissive who's been hurt in the past. A call from a friend brings his past and present together and makes him face up to the love he has suppressed for so long.</p><p>(No on screne rape and it happens to OCs. However past abusive relationship involving a main character is mentioned).</p><p>Also, sorry because this is surprisingly unkinky :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Consensual

**Author's Note:**

> Please view the wonderful art by mella68 here; http://archiveofourown.org/works/510947

Reid woke from a restless sleep to the sound of his telephone ringing. He groaned as the shrill noise echoed through his head and he grabbed haphazardly for the telephone, pressing the 'accept call' button without ever opening his eyes. If he had then he would have recognised the number flashing on caller ID and he never would have answered the call. Or so he'd like to think, because sometimes he had a shred of self-preservation. Just occasionally, of course.

“Spencer? It's me... Mattie... I need you.”

His heart skipped a beat. If Matthew had said anything other than that then all he would be hearing right now was the dial tone instead of the sound of Reid's breathing, slow and measured as he tried to keep a grip on reality. “It's been years. I don't see why you'd need my assistance in any aspect of your life,” he said. It was too late for 'hello' or 'how are you', years too late. Besides, if Matthew needed him then that indicated exactly how he was; in deep shit.

“I know, I know, it's been too long... I just... the police are looking into my establishment and at the moment my lawyer is keeping them at bay but I don't want that. Someone got hurt Spencer, and I want to get justice for her, but I can't have that kind of attention. My clientèle pay a lot of money to keep their private business out of the press,” Matthew said.

“The FBI aren't exactly known for their discretion, Matthew. The BAU do whatever they have to in order to draw out the UnSub,” Reid said cautiously. He did not want to be having this conversation, especially not at three fifteen am with his ex... whatever they had been. Certainly never lovers. It had been the one thing that Reid never gave him.

“Yeah, I know, I've seen you in the background whenever tall dark and brooding comes on TV, or that pretty little blonde who looks like she'd be at home with a whip,” Matthew admitted, sounding like he enjoyed the imagery associated with his description of JJ.

“Not everybody is like that,” Reid said defensively, knowing that he had once pictured JJ in that role too. They were such close friends now that it was strange to think that he had once considered her an object of sexual desire. Now he was the godfather of her beautiful son, as close as family with all the love and pain that the word implied. 

“No, but we are and you understand the lifestyle whereas some jaded old Las Vegas cop is just going to make assumptions and write her off as a pervert,” he sounded bitter. 

“I can't promise anything, Matthew, you know that but I'll speak to my boss about it. Send me the details as you have them and I'll approach him first thing this morning,” Reid said, not making any promises he wouldn't be able to keep, or that he would regret.

“Thank you, Spencer and... I'm sorry that it took this for me to call you. I should have tried better to keep in contact, to make sure you were doing okay,” Mattie said, sounding mature which was almost as unsettling as him sounding bitter. Once upon a time Matthew had been young, arrogant and naïve. Apparently those times were over, which wasn't something that Reid could bring himself to be upset about even if it did leave an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

“I... that's fine. I'll talk to you when I know more,” Reid said, and disconnected the call. He wasn't sure how he felt about Matthew's regret, but he knew he didn't share it. Over the past ten years he had changed, grown, and he hadn't wanted Matt to be a part of that. In fact, he had needed space from Matthew's controlling influence in order to become the person he had and nothing would make him wish things had turned out differently. 

After the call sleep wouldn't come. Reid gave up about four forty and switched on his laptop to access the files that Matthew had sent him and began reading. He was determined to treat this just like any other case, but as soon as he read the preliminaries he knew that this was going to be harder than anything else he'd ever faced. In the past he'd been kidnapped, attacked by his own team members, albeit for the purpose of keeping them all alive and catching the UnSub, overcome drug addiction, lost friends to death (even if it had only been temporary) and to the job. It was all in a days work and while none of it was easy in the slightest he'd had back up every step of the way, Hotch, Morgan, Emily, JJ, even Gideon before and now Rossi. This case was something that he'd thought he would never have to face, and it was going to bring up a lot of bad memories, ones his team mates knew nothing about and he'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible. Which of course, would never be long enough.

~ CM ~

At seven fifteen Reid arrived at work, headed straight for the coffee machine and added six sugars before knocking on Hotch's office door. Of course he was already at work as well, but only because his son was staying with friends. Normally he only arrived at seven thirty.

“You're here early,” Hotch said with some surprise in his voice as Reid entered.

“I... um... didn't get much sleep,” he admitted, clutching his satchel in front of him nervously. He'd never been the one to approach Hotch about a case before, the one time he'd chosen to go off on his own and investigate something the team had just shown up in support of him, no questions asked. This time it would be official business and there would be no end of questions to be answered. Just the fact that Reid was bringing this case to him indicated that it was important to him. It was going to be hard to tell Hotch of all people because of how Reid saw him. He suspected that Gideon had known how he had felt about the man but had been respectful enough to keep it to himself. After all Hotch had been married at the time, and even now years after he and Haley had been separated although not long after her death, Reid still wanted desperately to keep this information to himself. It was embarrassing enough being in love with a straight man who was his boss, it was far worse for that man to find out that he liked to kneel on the floor and have someone order him around in the bedroom.

“Is there anything I can do?” Hotch offered courteously. 

“Uh... maybe. I know this is unorthodox but I got a call from a f-friend,” Reid told his boss, wincing at the verbal stumble, “about a case.”

“What made this case so special?” Hotch asked, taking the file from Reid and giving it a cursory glance.

He took a breath and concentrated on the facts. “Not the case so much as the location. He runs an extremely exclusive club and his lawyers are keeping the local police from investigating thoroughly, however Matthew said he would open up his establishment to the BAU if we took the case,” Reid explained.

“What about the police? You know we only work as invitation only unless it becomes federal,” he was reminded. No body liked to be told how to police their own state or town so these rules were in place to try and keep the peace between the individual police departments and the FBI. Unfortunately this rarely worked Someone was usually upset at the BAU 'interfering' in whatever case they couldn't solve.

“Matthew indicated that if he issued an invitation for the BAU then the police would be content with that compromise. He wants justice for the victim.”

“But he wants to preserve his privacy more?” Hotch asked with a bite behind his bland façade.

“I'm not naïve, I know that is certainly part of the reason he is being uncooperative with the local authorities, but he legitimately worries that the police will be biased in their investigation due to the nature of his club,” Reid said, and it wasn't in defence of Matthew it was just his honest opinion.

“And what is the nature of his club?”

Reid didn't take the deep breathed he wanted to because he knew what a give away that was, it would be telling Hotch about how nervous this conversation was making him, how significant the context was not only to the case but to Reid personally. When he replied he kept his voice even. “It's a members only fetish club called Sub Zone that focuses on the dominance and submission aspect of BDSM.”

“I see,” Hotch said, and Reid wasn't sure what it was he saw but he hoped it wasn't too much.

“And your connection to him?” 

“We met when I was a teenager. Lost contact, I hadn't spoken to him in years before last night” he said.

“Will I regret taking on this case?” He asked. A valid question, one which Hotch truly deserved an answer to. There were so many ways in which this could all go horribly wrong, and they both knew that Hotch would willingly take the blame for it if the case generated negative publicity for the BAU.

“Not on my account,” Reid promised. Hotch nodded, understanding that Reid wasn't promising that there wasn't some risk involved, of course with such high profile people being protected there was always some level of risk. Reid was dismissed and returned to his desk where he dug around for information just in case Hotch was favourable to this case. He considered emailing Seth, a mutual friend of his and Matthew's, but decided against it for one reason; he knew how much Seth would disapprove. 

Two hours later after everyone had arrived Hotch emerged from his office and told them all to follow him into the briefing room. They had a case.

“Good morning, my darlings,” Penelope Garcia, flamboyant technical analyst, greeted them as they filed in and found seats around the table in front of the large screen upon which gory details of Matthew's crime scene was already displayed.

“Just one victim?” Prentiss asked.

“The only one we have access to. This is twenty-one year old Sophia Anne Carter, she is a student at the University of Nevada Las Vegas and a Las Vegas native. She was found in an alleyway last night outside a club unconscious and badly wounded. The medical report states that she has rope burns on her wrists, lacerations on her back, is badly bruised and was suffering from extreme dehydration. Despite the lack of detectable alcohol or drugs in her system she can't remember what happened to her,” Garcia informed them, doing her best not to look too closely at the pictures that made her so sad.

The girl in the photograph was beautiful, with glossy dark hair hanging around her oval face which was dominated by round green eyes and a wide pink unsmiling mouth. Her body was slim but toned, obviously she worked out which implied some strength and yet there were no defensive wounds on her body from fighting back or even from struggling against her bonds. Reid had seen enough bondage marks to be able to tell that the photographed wounds were because someone had tied her up too tightly rather than because she had attempted to wriggled free. Reid wondered if the person who had bound her had been inexperienced with bondage or just cruel? It was an important detail to remember for later, even if the others didn't know it yet.

“Why was she in the neighbourhood?” Morgan asked.

“Her and some friends went out to celebrate their exams and she lost them in the club, they went home without her. We have statements from them attesting that she wasn't seen with anyone in particular when they last saw her at eleven thirty that night” Garcia said.

“Nice friends,” Rossi said darkly.

“They're twenty-one, young and beautiful. They think they're invincible,” JJ responded, sounding equal parts wistful and condemning. 

“Is there any evidence of sexual abuse?” Reid asked. There had been no information on that in the file that Matthew had sent over since he hadn't been able to access medical records.

“The rape kit that the nurse collected was inconclusive. There was traces of spermicide found but the damage was minimal so there is a chance it was from consensual sex. Until her memory returns the subject is murky at best,” Garcia answered him.

“Garcia, you said this was the only victim we had access to? Were there more?” Rossi asked.

“When the police were talking to the nurse she said that this wasn't the first time someone had come in with these injuries. Men and women, all between twenty-one and thirty-five all with the exact same symptoms, except everyone else reached the hospital on there own and no one reported it to the police.”

“Multiple victims, transcending gender but maintaining a clear age restriction. Without more data we're going to struggle with this case,” Rossi noted.

“Our first priority is to interview Sophia Carter, she is our crime scene and a witness. She'll be able to tell us the most. When we land I want JJ to liaise with the police department, they may not be directly working this case but we will probably need their help on this, Rossi can head to the hospital to talk with the nurse who treated Sophia Carter. Morgan and I will both meet with the club owner and have him show you the area that was the crime scene and Prentiss and Reid, I want both of you to interview Miss Carter,” Hotch dealt out the orders and they dispersed, meeting up hours later to board the jet. 

~ CM ~

On the plane Reid segregated himself from the rest of the group, and he was kind of surprised, and relieved, that Hotch allowed him too. He could hear them, a faint murmur of voices discussing the preliminaries of the case, comparing method and possible motives to other past cases as they spat out theories and argued about the meaning behind each bit of evidence they had to go on. Reid knew that he should be paying attention, should be involved with the discussion, but right now he wasn't in the right head-space. Later he would give his own opinions to Hotch based on what he knew about people's behaviour in the scene but right now he wasn't focused on the case, he was thinking about Matthew.

Matthew Decker had been young when they had first met, charismatic and invincible, and so had his best friend Seth Townsend. With both of them in their mid-twenties and drop dead gorgeous they could have had anyone in that club, but they'd chosen Spencer. He had been eighteen and as skinny as he was now with even less self-confidence and zero street smarts. Thinking back on it now, he reflected that despite how it had all turned out it had probably been a good thing that Mattie and Seth had been the ones to take an interest in him rather than someone like their UnSub. He wanted to insist he'd have been smart enough to avoid that kind of person, but he doubted it was true. He'd always been gifted with incredible intelligence and even at eighteen his knowledge and education had been formidable, but he had still been as naïve as Sophia and she'd ended up raped and abused.

Still, he carried his own scars from those youthful adventures, both physical and ones on the inside that he never let anyone know where there. What Reid was most afraid of was that through this case those scars would be exposed to the light. One thing was for certain, before the week was over the team he had come to think of as family would be seeing him differently for sure. 

“Hey kid,” Morgan said softly as he took a seat opposite Spencer, startling him out of his own draining thoughts.

Reid ignored his irritation at being called 'kid' and raised his head in a motion that he hoped Morgan would except as a response.

“You have a headache?” Morgan asked, worry was evident in his voice and Reid shook his head.

“I'm fine, just thinking,” Reid assured his friend.

Morgan nodded but the frown lines had yet to disappear from his forehead. “Sure. Reid, if you need to talk to anyone-”

Spencer interupted, “then I've only got to say, to you or Emily or Rossi or Garcia or Hotch. You'll always make time for me, I know. You guys do realise that I'm not actually a kid, right? I'm just as capable of figuring things out for myself as all of you are,” he pointed out without bite. He sometimes worried that his team mates unconsciously picked up on the inner submissive and that was why they took such care of him. On bad days it made him grateful that he had such wonderful people at his back, on good days he just wanted them to recognise that he wasn't incompetent and that he had been trained to do his job just like them, even if they had different emphasises in their work.

Morgan sat back, raising his hands up in an age old gesture of defeat. “Hey, I would have said the same to anyone on the team.”

Reid sighed. “I know. I guess I'm just tense because I'm the one who asked Hotch to look in on the case,” he excused himself.

Morgan looked surprised. “You were? How come?”

“I know the owner of Sub Zone. He asked me to pull some strings,” Spencer shared with his friend, watching carefully for signs of unease.

“Matthew Decker, right? He's only a couple of years older than you, did you go to school together or something?” Morgan asked.

Spencer could have lied, or just been evasive, but the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Maybe if he told Morgan now then it would lessen the damage, especially since he of all people had to be feeling this case. It was too close to home after the abuse his cousin went through for all those years. “No. When I was younger I decided that I wanted to... test my boundaries I guess. I had finally turned eighteen and had had my mom committed, which was the best thing for her but I never really felt good about it. My own personal teenage rebellion was to find a place so far out of my comfort zone that it would force me to do something... well, memorable and stupid. It wasn't like I was ever going to have stories of drunken frat parties or disastrous relationships to tell,” he said. He'd been a misfit for so long at school and college that he'd never learned to fit in, and even if he had it would never have been with the type of people Derek had most likely hung out with at college.

“You met him in a BDSM club?” Morgan's eyebrows shot up and wariness climbed into his voice.

“A fetish club, yes.”

“Did he hurt you?” Morgan asked, and Reid wished he hadn't. He didn't want to lie to his friend, but there were so many different ways in which the answer was yes.

“Nothing like what happened to Cindi ever happened to me,” he assured him.

“I know that isn't normal, Reid, I'm not exactly a fan of the scene but I understand enough to recognise the different between what happened to Cindi and consensual BDSM relationships,” Derek said, but Reid wasn't sure that was the truth. It was, to some extent, but right now Derek's head was filled with images of his cousin's abuse and the photographs of their victim's bruises. It was better they didn't discuss this any further, Reid didn't want him to know that he didn't have anything good to say about the scene either. 

“I was young and so was he. It's all in the past, but I wanted you to know because it will probably come up during the case,” Spencer explained.

“Sure,” Derek said, sitting back and joining Reid in his silence as they both stared out at the clouds over Nevada.

~ CM ~ 

“Look,” Sophia shouted at them in a shrill tone that reflected how close she was to being hysterical. “I don't know how many more ways I can tell you this; I don't want to talk about what happened. Period!” 

Prentiss had taken the lead with the interview, allowing Reid to observe the victim's behaviour and mannerisms, applying facts to what he knew and theorising in his head. It wasn't going well though, and Reid would guess that Sophia wasn't responding well to being questioned because she subconsciously thought that Emily was judging her. No amount of reassurance from them would comfort her. Reid had an idea of how to gain her trust and encourage her to open up, but he wasn't comfortable with Emily seeing.

“It's okay. Emily, I think maybe you should leave me and Sophia to talk,” he suggested. Prentiss looked concerned at his announcement but thankfully didn't argue and left them alone to talk. 

Once she had left he allowed the unnatural silence of the room to calm her down. Eventually she glanced his way, her expression still set to 'stubborn', hiding all her insecurities and fears behind her mask. “I'm not going to tell you anything so you might as well leave. You're wasting your time,” she reiterated nervously.

“Why?” He asked slowly. “Is it because you're ashamed of wanting to have someone exhibit control over you sexually?” He asked pointedly. Prentiss had danced around the issue, concentrating her questions about how Sophia had been treated as a victim asking only about the abuse and damage it caused. Reid was swooping in with a massively different approach, but he felt like it was the right way to go. It wasn't like there was anything to lose. “Being a sexual submissive and consenting to be brutally beaten and raped isn't the same thing, even if that is what a lot of mainstream literature encourages us to believe,” he explained.

“Are you calling me a pervert?” Sophia asked, her voice shaking in a manner that indicated not just rage but also fear. She was afraid of having an 'expert' in human behaviour confirm her worst fear; that this part of her that felt so natural and freeing to her was a result of some innate perversion. Reid had often found himself to be described or introduced as an expert on everything, but to be honest he was only an expert on what other people had discovered and written down for him to read. Unlike serialised murders, ritualised rapes, kidnapping or arson he actually had experience in the BDSM scene which gave him an edge, but there was little material for him to read. He wasn't an expert, but he knew how important emotion was when it came to BDSM, especially trust, not just the trusting of others but the ability to trust yourself. Sophia had lost both the night she'd been abused, which was why he was going to take a leap and trust her.

“No,” he answered her question, watching a small amount of hope enter her eyes even as she continued to hold her wary, sceptical expression. “I'm trying to tell you that what happened to you wasn't as a direct result of you going to a fetish club. The UnSub that we're looking for is a disturbed individual who prays on people who he knows he can manipulate into trusting him. He picked you out because of your behaviour, adjusted his own to create a persona that you'd connect with and lured you in. He's highly sophisticated and incredibly sadistic. He isn't in a BDSM club because he identifies with the life style, he's here because he knows his victims will be too ashamed to go to the police. Nothing about what happened to to is your fault, and you should understand that those events weren't a typical BDSM experience. Have you ever heard of 'safe, sane, and consensual?” Reid asked her.

She shook her head. “Neither had I even I was eighteen. Safe, sane, consensual is what is supposed to be the foundation to every BDSM encounter and relationship. If an encounter is missing any one of those elements then the power imbalance becomes too much and there is potential for either member of the dynamic to be abused.”

He paused to let it all sink in, before adding; “nothing you can tell me about what happened that night will ever make me believe that you are sick or perverted. You weren't to blame in any way. But the things you know, they could help us catch this guy and stop him from hurting others the way he hurt you.” 

He could tell he had reached her. There was a suspicious twinkle in her soft gray eyes. Still, she wasn't quite prepared to let down her guard completely yet. “Really? Where did you learn that, doctor?” She sneered unconvincingly. 

“I know I come off as overly educated and a complete geek. I was taught many things about human behaviour and psychology that help me in my job, but today I'm relying more on personal experience,” he admitted, and finally her mask fell away replaced by shock and vulnerability.

“I don't believe you,” she whispered.

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours,” he said lightly hoping to relax her some more.

“You first,” she demanded, not really understanding what she was asking of him but neither of them could back down now the words had been uttered. Reid had known that this was the eventual outcome of their conversation and yet still he needed to take a deep breath before committing himself to this path. He settled himself and then began the task of removing his clothes, only enough to reveal his back. He turned so she could see the pale expanse of skin interrupted only by a series of long deep lash marks that had faded to a pale pink colour over time. 

“I was eighteen,” he repeated the information he had slipped in to the conversation earlier. “I let things get out of control, because I wanted to be out of control. I was so sure I could manipulate the situation with my intelligence that I didn't even take the time to learn the basics about what I was getting into, and then it was too late. I thought I was too clever to be fooled, but it's hard when the people hurting you genuinely believe in their own lies, and you have no point of reference with which to judge the validity of their actions.”

The flood gates were opened. “I didn't want him to hurt me so much. I thought it was just a laugh, you know, dressing up in kinky gear and dancing dirty in a darkened club. There was a guy, and he seemed really into me. We were making out and it progressed to sex, upstairs in one of the private rooms, and then he got really rough and when I asked him to stop he tied me up and started hurting me, telling me I loved it and that I deserved it,” she was literally weeping now and Reid, who had clothed himself quickly, felt the awkward need to comfort her but lacked the social confidence to execute it.

“Was there anything he said to you that stood out? Or anything he did? The way he moved or looked? Just tell me whatever comes to mind,” he said, sitting down next to her and allowing her a few minutes to breathe through the ghost of her pain. She nodded, and continued with a flood of information.

Over two hours later Reid joined the team at the police station full of information to impart. He found only JJ waiting for him, looking glum and exhausted.

“You get anything from Sophia?” She asked.

“Tons,” he said proudly.

“Good. We're gonna need all the information we can get,” JJ said, and breathed in a deep breath. “They've found a body.”


	2. Sane

“Her name is Sarah Buchanan, she worked in one of the local adult sex shops and had been seen at the club often in the past few weeks,” Rossi filled Reid in as they looked over the photographs from the dump site.

“She matches what we know about his other victims perfectly,” he observed. “However unlike Sophia she wasn't a newbie. It's possible she knew him or that is so charming and sophisticated that even someone who knew better would be fooled into trusting him,” he theorised.

“Perhaps, although the large quantity of alcohol found in her blood stream suggests she wasn't thinking straight that night. Easy pray, even,” Rossi informed him.

“How drunk was she?”

“The M.E. doesn't think she would have been incapacitated by her alcohol level, but she was definitely more than tispy,” Rossi answered.

“Still conscious but easily swayed,” Reid murmured. It was how many rapists got away with their crime, claiming she could have said no because she was awake but really their was nothing consensual about attacking a person when their judgement was so impaired.

“We still don't have enough to release a profile, and if he's started to kill then it means we're running out of time,” he said sadly, looking to Rossi for guidance.

The older profiler looked at him with a kind expression. “Don't lose hope yet, Spencer. The nurses at the hospital have been persuaded to contact people who came in with those injuries in the past to come forward and tell give us information. Even if they chose not to go to trial anything they tell us can help make our profile more accurate. Hotch has already interviewed two more victims.”

“We don't need them to go to trial,” Reid said, starting to believe that this guy wouldn't be free for long, “he never bothered to blindfold Sophia, so she'll be able to pick him out of a line up. All we need is enough information to get a profile out so we can catch him.”

~ CM ~

“So, what do we know?” Garcia asked, having flown down after a call from Morgan that had her worrying about Reid, who was after all her number two man. Garcia was just as likely as the others to mother Reid, although he minded it less from her since it was almost like they shared an understanding, that being that they were both better at their specialities, either knowing everything or being able to find anything out, than they were at dealing with violence or pain.

“We have multiple victims of both gender between the ages of twenty-one and thirty-five. We've only been able to speak to five of them even though the nurses suggest that the number of victims exceeds fifty and that they date back years with varying intensity. Sarah Buchanan is, however, his only kill,” Rossi summarised.

“All the victims met him at the same club,” Prentiss said.

“Which means that is where we're most likely to catch him. It also means we've been unable to guess where he lives or works because we have no other geographical information on his whereabouts,” Reid added. “Also I don't believe this man is a 'Dom' so much as he possesses dominant qualities and uses the BDSM scene to supply him with a pool of victims who are less likely to be suspicious of his desire to be overtly controlling and who won't call the authorities when the scene goes badly because they'd have to tell them they were in a fetish club. However people will categorise him as a Dom, so in the profile it would be best to refer to him as such.”

“How useful is the profile going to be in catching him?” Rossi asked.

“His level of experience, the fact that he has been able to return to the scene of the crime multiple times without anyone getting suspicious means that the profile is going to have limited affect. Maybe if we could give it out to his potential victims then they'd be able to get out of an unsafe situation before he could hurt them but the nature of the club means that we won't be able to have access to the members. The best we can do is give the profile to the employees and hope we have better luck with an undercover operation,” Hotch told them.

“Who's going in?” Morgan asked.

“I don't mind volunteering,” Emily said cautiously.

“No, I'll do it,” Reid said, and everyone in the room turned to look at him with varying degrees of shock and worry. “I have the knowledge and experience so I won't be suspicious, and people rarely think I'm an FBI field agent or cop because I lack the typical attributes associated with those careers. I'll be convincing,” he finished.

There was a pause while everyone tried to come up with reasons to defeat his but before anyone could voice them, Hotch spoke, “fine. Then I'm going in too.”

Reid was surprised, he'd thought that Morgan would be sent in and if Morgan's expression was anything to go by then he'd been under the same impression. Spencer met Aaron's eyes and saw in them determination and something else that made his heart beat faster. “Everyone dismissed,” Hotch added. “Reid, we need to talk.”

Reid felt a bit like a naughty school child being told to wait behind at the end of class, a genuine naughty child not the kinky BDSM scene type. Everyone gave him assessing glances as they walked past him and JJ squeezed his shoulder in a gesture of comfort before they were gone and it was just Hotch and Reid, alone.

“You lied to me,” Aaron started with, surprising Reid once again as he assumed they'd be talking over the details of the ruse they'd be using to fool the UnSub into revealing himself.

“You lied about how involved you were with Matthew Decker,” Hotch added when there was no response from Reid.

“I said I knew him when I was-”

“A teenager. You didn't say you'd subbed for him, or that things had gone wrong,” Hotch finished for him.

Reid felt under attack. He never wanted this conversation to take place, especially when he understood that the only reason that Hotch was angry was because he thought Spencer had risked the integrity of the BAU in order to help out his ex-Dom. It wasn't true, not at all. Matthew wasn't the kind of ex who deserved favours, and the only reason Reid had given the case files to Hotch was because he wanted to help the people being victimised by their UnSub, especially when there was no one else to take their side or believe that they weren't responsible for their own victimisation. 

“My past relationship with Matthew had no bearing on why I brought this case to you,” Reid said, hating the feeling of having disappointed Aaron.

“Then why did you lie about it?” His boss demanded.

“Hotch, how do you tell someone about the biggest mistake you ever made? Especially when I've never told anyone,” he admitted in a small voice. Hotch didn't soften.

“Matthew Decker had no problem telling me all about it, that you were eighteen or about the fact that you had to be hospitalized. Did you ever consider the possibility that Matthew was our UnSub?”

“No,” Reid said firmly. Matthew had been a stupid, arrogant, thoughtless kid, but then so had Spencer and Seth. They'd all been culpable in what had happened, and even though Reid had never forgiven Matthew he knew that it had changed the man. Besides, even if Mattie was guilty of great acts of irresponsibility, he wasn't capable of carrying around the guilt of killing someone. He'd have confessed by now. Reid had found a way to forgive Seth, and they were still close now with Spencer considering him a guardian Dom, someone to whom he could turn to whenever he felt like he was about to make a bad decision. He trusted Seth more than he trusted Matthew, but he'd never sub for either of them again.

“You seem very sure, is that because your emotions are clouding your judgement?” 

Reid did his best not to be offended at that. “Matthew isn't a sadist. He's an exhibitionist and desires more than anything for everyone around him to witness the power he exerts over others, that's what arouses him. He would never be able to successfully hide a crime of this magnitude without becoming extremely stressed and either confessing out of pride or shame, and either way he would never invite the authorities into the situation and risk being caught on terms that weren't his own. We were young and naïve, and we didn't understand the stress that a body undergoes during bondage scenes which was why I was hospitalized. After that I stopped having contact with Matthew and moved on with my life.”

“What about Seth?”

Spencer was speechless with shock. Matthew really had been feeling chatty if he'd told Hotch this much. Seth Townsend had been Matthew's best friend and college room mate when they'd met Reid, and they'd been close enough that they did everything together. Including explore the darker side of sexuality. Seth had been Matthew's audience before they went too far, and Reid had been in awe of both of them, although he didn't think he'd ever loved either of them. “Seth took care of me after wards. We remained close, but no, we were never together after that. In any way.”

Hotch nodded. “I understand.” He turned to leave.

“Hotch, do you think he's a suspect?” Reid asked.

Hotch paused on his way out of the door. “No. After I discovered your past I had Garcia check his alibi. At the time of the murder he was having dinner with his boyfriend at a restaurant on the other side of the city. He's in the clear.” 

~ CM ~

They had gathered up all the employees in Matthew's establishment and these were the people they were giving the profile to. While Hotch and Rossi opened with the physical description that Sophia had provided them with, Morgan scanned the faces of all the employees looking for a reaction.

“That's a really general description, lots of men look that way,” one of the Dominatrices said, unimpressed.

“We realise that,” Hotch said calmly, “but that is all the solid information we have to go on at this point.”

“However we do have a psychological profile that we've been able to put together after talking with Sophia, Micah and Annette and studying all the evidence we've been able to collect,” Prentiss explained.

Reid stepped forward to deliver the profile. “The man we are looking for self identifies as a Dominant, but he is not one in the truest sense. He is abusive, sadistic and manipulative and has clearly been in the scene for a long time, years maybe as many as ten but due to his age it is unlikely that he'll have been in the scene for much more than that. He appeals to people because he seems strong and in control but he actually has rage issues and if challenged he will lash out. Sophia was a first timer at the club but both Micah and Annette have been in the D/s scene for many years even if Micah had never been at the club before. This tells us that he is very charming and can easily fool even street smart submissives who don't often take risks like letting a stranger tie them up,” Reid said, feeling like the subject was much more than just a theory in order to narrow down the pool of suspects. He had once been just like Sophia, naïve and out for a thrill. They'd both found out that safety was an illusion and trust was a gift best bestowed on the worthy. The problem was judging who was worthy and who wasn't. He avoided looking at Matthew during his speech.

“So, handsome, charming but a dick, between thirty-five and forty with dark hair and a fake tan... gee, that'll help us stop people from ending up like Sarah for sure!” Said one of the waitresses, a small pretty thing who looked to be in her late thirties. Under the derision was a hint of fear and a whole ton of anger. Reid thought back to Sarah Buchanan's file and remembered that she'd worked in the adult sex shop which supplied the club with their toys and that her co-worker had suspected she'd been dating one of the employees from Sub Zone. 

“Profiles are only one tool we utilise in tracking down UnSubs. In this particular case we're also preparing to go undercover. One of my agents and I will be posing as a Dom/sub couple in which the Dominant is exuding an unhealthy amount of power over the sub. We're hoping that the UnSub will be drawn towards me as an abusive Top and reveal something about himself. We suspect he is the kind of man who'd like nothing else but to brag about his conquests but has no one to talk to. He'll see me as his equal, as someone who really understands what it means to be a Dominant,” Hotch told them and they all looked comforted to hear the news.

“This may not work and even if it does we suspect it will take more than just one night to build up a rapport with this UnSub so in the mean time we ask that you keep an eye out and continue to warn people about the dangers of playing with strangers,” Prentiss was quick to tell them.

The employees looked unsettled but seemed to take the message seriously which was the best they could hope for. The kind of man they were looking for wouldn't be caught by the police because the police or general public because they would look for different behavioural clues than the people who frequented this club. Still, the undercover operation was their best bet. This guy had been coming in and out of this club for years which meant he was trusted to some extent and people generally had trouble believing someone they trusted was capable of hurting others so badly. Which meant it was down to Hotch and Reid to catch them. No pressure, though.

~ CM ~

Everyone was nervous and high strung before the operation, which was normal of course. It would be cause for concern if anyone wasn't. There was tension between Hotch and Reid that was more than just what was left over from their earlier scene.

“You don't have to do this, Spencer, you know that right?” Hotch said when they had a few minutes alone, away from the others.

“I know,” he reassured his boss, although the man didn't look all that comforted.

“I don't want you to feel pressured because you are the only one with experience in the BDSM scene,” he said.

“It does make me the only one qualified for this operation and we've always used people's skills or knowledge to help catch UnSubs before,” Reid pointed out, using logic to make his argument.

“Of course but there is a line, Spencer, and this is most definitely crossing it. I know before it may have felt like I was attacking you, but I don't want you to think I judge you for your past. Being a submissive is an extremely personal thing, and a part of that is knowing you can trust the person you are with in every capacity,” Aaron said.

Reid looked at his boss, his face calm and his eyes holding a depth of emotion that was untranslatable. “I do trust you, in every way.”

Aaron took a breath as he realised that this conversation was about more than just going undercover. He'd always known that Reid had more than just professional feelings for him but had brushed off Gideon's concern and chalked it up to hero worship on the younger man's behalf. But seeing his eyes now as he made that confession and knowing what little he did know about Reid's introduction to sexual experiences the concept took on a whole new meaning, one which Aaron had never had to think about before and he wasn't sure he should be thinking about now. Just because he had decided it was okay to start dating again didn't mean he should jump into a hardcore BDSM relationship with his male subordinate. In fact, despite the desire that this case had stirred up in him he had to admit to himself that there may never be a moment where these feelings would be okay to be expressed.

“Reid,” he began warily but backed down because this wasn't the time for that conversation. Instead he reiterated his point, wanting to make sure that Spencer understood the full ramifications of this operation. “I'm going to have to hurt you, humiliate and degrade you and maybe even make you do things that if HQ find out about they'd probably take my badge away, serial rapist and murderer or no.”

“Which is why it makes more sense for me to be the Sub, at least I'll know what to expect and how to behave. Besides, Morgan and Rossi clearly couldn't handle it and Prentiss would find a way to make you pay,” Reid said mischievously attempting to lighten the mood.

“No mention of JJ?” Hotch asked, raised eyebrow at the omission.

Reid smiled. “I don't think she could pull off a Sub any more than Morgan could. They definitely both have 'alpha' written all over them. Even Mattie said she'd look at home with a whip in her hands.”

Hotch laughed quietly. “Thank you but that's an image I could probably have done without.”

“Just remember, you kick like a thirteen year old girl and I've had worse,” Spencer said, reminding them both of the mission at hand and how serious the matter really was.

Hotch lost his smile. “That doesn't make me feel any better,” he said sighing as he tried his best not to picture Reid in a hospital bed, all alone and scared. He didn't need the anger he associated with the image.

Reid shrugged uncomfortably. “It's in the past. I just use it to remind myself that I'm a stronger person than most people assume I am.”

“Gideon knew how strong you were,” Aaron said softly, knowing that even now the team tended to shy away from mentioning Gideon, especially around Reid. It wasn't that they'd forgotten him, or Elle, just that it was painful, and a reminder of how easy it was to lose yourself to this job.

“You think that's why he wrote me that letter?” Reid asked sceptically.

Hotch couldn't speak to that, even after all these years he wasn't sure if he'd addressed the letter to Reid because he'd known how much his defection from the team had hurt him or because he'd known that Reid would be the first person to get curious enough to find the letter. Either way he knew that Reid had been hurting and lost afterwards and he hadn't helped much, to busy with his own failing marriage and disappointment in his old friend. “I think that's why he brought you onto the team.”

Reid nodded, content with that answer. “So, are you ready to Top me?” He asked brightly.

Hotch smacked him roughly around the mouth with enough force to snap his head around. “Shut up, boy!” He hissed angrily.

Reid, to his credit, immediately got into character. He let his head fall so that his chin rested on his chest and his eyes stayed glued to the floor in front of his shoes. “Yes sir, I apologise sir.”

“Now, now, I'm sure you can do better than that!” Hotch tutted darkly, sounding amused even as his gut clenched in repulsion at someone acting the way he was right now. It was one thing to punish someone in a safe environment for breaking pre-set rules with scripted consequences and a safe word for opting out but the kind of scene they were creating was one in which the submissive was as much of a slave as Cindi had been with no choice in the matter only threats of worse treatment should they not behave as expected by their Dom.

Reid dropped elegantly to the floor in one movement, his forehead touching the tops of Hotch's shiny black shoes. “Forgive me, Master,” Reid whispered, pressing tiny little kisses to the leather.

“Better, but you'll have to be punished later of course,” Hotch said dismissively and with a swift kick that had very little power behind it he unbalanced Reid enough to topple him over and send him the rest of the way to the floor.

“That was impressive. I almost believed in it myself,” Mattie's voice was like a bucket of cold water and Hocth snapped out of the scene immediately. He hadn't realised that the other man had entered the room and wanted to ask how long he had been standing there but knew that asking would draw attention to the fact that Hotch had been saying things he would rather Matthew didn't know. Things that he wanted to stay between himself and Reid.

Mattie helped Reid off the floor and Hotch did his best not to glare at where the other man's hands were touching Reid. Top-space, even an abusive top space that was concocted for the purpose of flushing out a serial rapist, was hard to come down from. 

“Then I guess we're ready to go clubbing,” Hotch said coolly, keeping the conflicting emotions he was feeling out of his voice. 

“You might want to change your clothes first,” Mattie suggested in an amused voice but there was nothing in his eyes that was smiling. Hotch had a feeling that Matthew could read him better than most people could and it irritated him further.

“Of course. Garcia went shopping,” he said smoothly and gestured for them both to follow him out of the room.

Reid shook himself free of the hand that Mattie had kept on him and stayed close to Hotch as they tracked down Garcia. “Are you sure letting Garcia choose our outfits was a good idea?” He asked softly. They all loved her, and no one could imagine her without her bubblegum pink or florescent orange outfits but at the same time no one wanted to dress like her either.

“It'll be fine. We discussed concepts before I gave her my credit card. We also discussed penalties for going overboard,” he said and he was only half joking.

Luckily for all of them, Garcia had stuck to the boss's suggestions although she hadn't been able to stop herself from adding a few flares here and there but they only added to the realism of the outfits instead of deducting from it.

“I considered having you half naked but then I decided that I'm a possessive top who would never share you with anyone in any capacity,” Hotch said and the words were secretly aimed at Matthew. The other man's jaw tightened and Hotch guessed he'd gotten the message. “Besides,” he added lightly, “then we'd have to bruise you up some and this just seemed easier.”

Reid winced and looked inside the bag. It actually wasn't as bad as he had feared, and he disappeared into the men's room to change. He still felt fairly exposed as he left the safety of the bathroom and when he entered the office once more his eyes were downcast simply to avoid seeing his teammate's reactions.

Mattie let out a wolf whistle. “Very nice. If I didn't know personally exactly how old you were I'd guess twenty-five at tops, and a very hot twenty-five at that!” Reid could practically feel Mattie's eyes burning a way through his outfit, what there was of it anyway.

Garcia had clothed him in a skin tight white t-shirt with a high neckline, a pair of soft soled canvas shoes and dark blue jeans that fit snugly around his waist. It was definitely true that Reid looked younger in his new clothes and he hated it. The reason he dressed older than his age was because he'd always had so much trouble getting people to take him seriously as an academic and an FBI agent. Dressed like this he felt all of fifteen. No one was likely to take him seriously like this. Although he guessed no one was meant to.

Hotch's hand lifted his chin forcing him to meet his eyes. “You look perfect for the part,” he said, and somehow that made all his doubts and worries dissipate. It was the perfect thing to say.

Reid allowed himself a peek at what his boss was wearing. “Ditto, boss,” he said, sounding pleasantly surprised. Garcia had definitely reigned herself in on this shopping trip. Hotch didn't look massively different from his normal self, unlike Reid, although this outfit seemed to shout out that Hotch was someone important who didn't have the patience for people who weren't serious. He was wearing black slacks that were freshly pressed and well tailored, in fact they fit so well that Reid suspected that Hotch had actually owned these rather than allowed Garcia to buy him some. His shirt also fit well and was a dark blue colour that complimented his eyes. He had kept his polished leather work shoes and tucked his shirt in to show of the thick leather belt around his waist that looked more like a threat now than an everyday item.

“Only one thing missing,” Hotch said, indicating Reid's bare throat.

He gulped. “Couldn't reach the fastening,” he murmured as an excuse as he handed over the excellently crafted leather collar to his boss. 

Hotch took it silently and gently placed it around Reid's neck, unconsciously caressing the skin as he fastened the silver buckle and twisted the collar around so that the 'D' ring was at the front. Finally they added the last part of their cover.

A leash.

The leash was what Garcia added, but it was perfect for their cover and completely acceptable for Sub Zone. It matched the collar in it's functional simplicity and both had clearly been made for human use which was comforting. Hotch held the handle in his own hand and clipped the leash onto the 'D' ring so that it fell safely in front of Reid and wouldn't be a choking hazard if he pulled too quickly on it. Not that he would, human necks were easily damaged and the idea was to look like Reid was being caused a lot of pain, not give them reason to visit a hospital before the night was over.

When they were alone Hotch pulled Reid close and added a few touches of his own. First he ran a hand through Reid's short brown hair so it spiked up haphazardly, then he dug out a packet of cigarettes and slipped them into Reid's front jeans pocket so that they were easily visible. Smoking would be a good excuse to get out of the club, even if only for a few minutes, and he may even be able to make a few 'friends' this way as well. The last thing he did was hand Reid a cock cage.

“You know what this is?” He asked, and could tell from the blush that stained his sub-ordinate’s cheeks that he did. “I want you to put it on. Trust me, it'll be an easy way of demonstrating my sadistic control over you without having you preform intimate and debasing acts in front of others.”

Reid nodded and disappeared for some privacy, adjusting the cock cage so that it was obvious that the device not only prevented ejaculation but also stopped him from getting hard. Someone who was wearing this was not going to be having any fun, and Reid knew that permanent use caused the type of damage that no man wanted to admit to. Cock cages didn't have to be humiliating and dehumanising, and Reid had even seen them used in loving healthy relationships to further the pleasure of both partners rather than cruelly torture one for the other's sadistic enjoyment. Of course in this case they wanted the UnSub to mistake Hotch for the latter kind of Dom.

Reid prayed he lost the blush before they arrived at the club or else he wouldn't survive the night, low lighting or no.


	3. Safe

The first night they visited the club as patrons was a Saturday night. Matthew informed them that the club was busiest on Fridays, with frustrated tycoons and celebrating CEOs taking their pleasure after the work day. Saturday was more touristy, with anyone able to enter the club not just members only. The idea was to befriend Matthew through his boyfriend Elliot Weston and for them to make it look like they were engineering an invitation to become members. This way the UnSub, if they were in the know which the team was assuming they were, would assume that Hotch was a Dom capable of forethought and manipulation to get power. Qualities that he was approve of and they profiled that he would see them as competition and seek to find out more about them, which was when they'd begin to have an idea who they were after. 

To make their jobs easier they also had a camera button on Hotch's shirt which recorded every face they met. If anyone stuck out they photographed him and at the end of the night would have some faces to show Sophia and Micah, both of whom were interested in persecuting this creep to the full extent of the law. However they couldn't guarantee that either of them would be able to successfully pick him out and the more evidence they had against him the stronger the case would be. A confession was the quickest way to a conviction, and that way they'd be able to prove he murdered Sarah as well.

Hotch was pleased to see more than a few looks of disgust being sent his way at his casual rough treatment of Reid, but there were no shortage of lustful stares at both of them that seemed to be encouraging his behaviour. Still, he couldn't let it bother him. 

After a few drinks, of water not the loudly ordered vodka which the bartender knew not to give him, he managed to 'accidentally' bump into Elliot and before the night was over he and Reid were sitting with Matthew and Elliot looking like the best of new friends. Hotch made sure people overheard Matthew asking him to come back and they ended the night with no suspects. The next day both Sophia and Micah were asked to go through the pictures but from the ones that weren't blurry or too dark to make out a clear face from they couldn't say for certain if he was there. 

If they had time they would have waited, but with one girl already dead they couldn't afford any more time so they went back the next night. Sundays were a lot quieter, less of the crowd was made up of curious kids looking for kicks and it was generally reserved for the more hardcore BDSM practitioners. Luckily there was nothing suspicious about Hotch and Reid showing up since they were clearly serious players and the live show of a professional Dominatrix and submissive was more than enough reason to show up. Hotch made it his purpose that night to emphasis his cruelty, snorting and making deriding comments about how the Domme on stage was being 'too easy' on the sub and telling anyone who'd listen that if that was how she treated her subs no wonder she couldn't keep one longer than the night.

Half an hour after the show ended they made a friend.

“You certainly have strong opinions,” remarked a man in his late thirties with thick brown hair and tanned skin who sat next to Hotch. Reid had noticed him staring half way through the show and had made sure Hotch knew they were being watched. They'd proceeded to give him a good show, with Hotch combing a hand through Reid's abnormally short locks, pulling every time something on stage 'angered' him. Reid had done his best to ignore any discomfort. A minor pain like hair pulling wouldn't phase the kind of submissive that he was pretending to be, but he'd be sure to play up any later pain to make Hotch seem like a harder Dom than he was able to safely be.

“I just know what I like,” Hotch said dismissively, pretending not to be interested in the other man. He had yanked on Reid's leash the minute the stranger came near, appearing both possessive and controlling. Reid stayed kneeling by his feet.

“Don't we all,” the stranger said with a smile.

Hotch looked up from his drink and gave his new friend an assessing look. “Here alone?” He asked, his tone disapproving and challenging.

“I'm never short for company,” the man smiled at them. “I see you're a one sub man.”

Hotch barked out a laugh. “Not really. But I find it convenient to keep him close.”

Reid's skin itched as he felt the newcomer's eyes on him. “He must be very loyal.”

Hotch shrugged. “He is, but then who would he tell? Who would he want to tell?” Hotch smiled and it was an expression to make most men's blood run cold. “Anyway,” he said abruptly, losing the smile and staring at his neighbour with ice in his eyes. “Who are you to question my Submissive's loyalty?” There was a dangerous edge to his voice.

“Martin Campbell. I... contribute to this club's finances. You're George Reed, am I right?” Martin asked.

“That's me,” he agreed. That was the fake alias he'd been using last night. “If you'll excuse me, I'm just on my way to the bathroom,” Hotch said, wanting to excuse himself while he checked in with his team.

He unclipped Reid from the leash while the younger man actually went to the bathroom but stayed outside himself while he called Garcia and asked her to check into this guy. His gut said that Campbell was a creep who was capable of the most horrendous acts but that didn't make him their killer. “Martin Campbell... forty-one, rich as hell of course, um... married twice, divorced once but his second wife died of... cause of death is listed as suicide but there was an enquiry, one of the policemen investigating thought her death was suspicious however the case was closed and he was retired early, very early as he was only thirty two at the time. Financials show that he donates to a charity for battered wives once a year on his first wife's birthday in her name. Looking into it... yes, it shows that Amelia Campbell Johnson accused him of battery but it never went to court. She lived at a woman's shelter for many years before reuniting with her brother who now pays for a psychiatrist of the highest esteem. One who's famous for helping women who suffered years of abuse and rape at the hands of family members. I think it's safe to say this guy is a grade A scum bag. He also paid to have the Sub Zone furnished and updated about four years ago and has been a patron ever since. I am sending a photograph to JJ who is with Micah, Annette and Sophia as we speak!”

Hopefully they were on the right track.

“Text me as soon as you know Garcia. Good work,” he said and flipped the cell phone closed before heading off into the bathroom to find Reid.

“Spencer? Where are you?” He asked, into the surprisingly dark toilets. He was sure they'd been fine a minuet ago. Then he heard it. The tell tale click of the safety of a gun being flicked. 

“I'm sorry,” Martin Campbell said from the shadows. “But we never got to finish our introductions. You got my name, and I got your alias, but you never introduced me to young Spencer Reid here did you?” Martin stepped out of the shadows, revealing the stranglehold he had Reid in as he pressed a hand gun to his temple.

“Your alias, Agent Hotchner, was very convincing and extremely thorough. You really should give your technician a raise. It would almost definitely had fooled me, if not for the fact that I did a most invasive in-depth back ground check on Matthew Decker, and when I saw that his ex pet had shown up on your leash I did my own check and it turns out that you're both FBI agents in the BAU. I was so convinced you were a couple as well, congratulations on your acting. Or was it really all acting? You do look quiet angry that I have my hands on your... 'agent'? Don't take it too personally, Hotchner, while he's definitely my type I have no interest in training him,” Martin explained.

“Training him? That's what you call what you do to those people?” Hotch asked, ignoring all the personal comments and focusing on getting a confession before back-up arrived. Garcia could see everything that he could with the camera on his shirt and he had no doubt she sent Morgan and the others in as soon as the gun came into view.

“They aren't people. They're submissives, they crave being told what to do, how to do it, being humiliated and hurt when they fail. If any of them had been worthy then I would have kept them longer than a night,” Martin bragged. He had the gun, he thought he had the power. Men like him were so easily fooled. He never realised that, just like in a healthy BDSM relationship, the power wasn't in his hands.

“Like your wife? Amelia? She was worthy of your training right up until the moment she divorced you,” he said with the intention of provoking him.

“Amelia is a mess without me!” He roared, shoving Reid to the ground. Spencer fell and as he did so he kicked his feet out so that martin fell on top of him. Hotch charged at them and pulled Martin away from Reid. The gun was on the floor and Reid picked it up, aiming it at Martin with steady hands. Rossi, Prentiss and Morgan entered behind them and it was over. They had incriminating evidence and JJ had told them to pass on the message that all three of their victims that were willing to testify agreed, independently of each other that Martin was their abuser. With so many people speaking up against him, Hotch suspected that Amelia's spousal abuse claim would be revisited and the case for the murder of his second wife would probably be reopened. This man was going to prison for a really long time.

By the time Rossi and Emily had escorted Mr Campbell away, Morgan was already pulling a reluctant Reid into a manly hug and dragging him off. He wouldn't get a chance to talk to Reid before the flight home probably, but Hotch knew they'd have to have a discussion about this case soon. In the meantime he'd have to forget about how warm and welcome Reid's body had been next to his. He wrapped the leash around his hand, and did his best.

~ CM ~

The flight home felt strangely crowded to Reid, and he struggled with Morgan and Emily's constant closeness even as he longed to be closer still although that longing was directed at their boss. Despite the circumstances Reid had felt... safe on the other side of Hotch's leash, safe and valued in a way that being with Matthew and Seth never had. Since the case ended sixteen hours ago they hadn't had the chance to speak. Morgan had wrapped Reid up in cotton-wool and taken him back to the hotel after getting checked out by a doctor who'd confirmed that Reid hadn't suffered any damage at all. Still, standard operating procedure and all. Then he'd been allowed to go to sleep, waking up in the morning to find that their UnSub had been booked and was residing in prison to await trial. Matthew had been no where to be found but Spencer still didn't have anything to say to him so it was probably best that their only communication was in the form of a card thanking all the BAU members for arresting the culprit and bringing piece of mind to his patrons.

On the plane ride home Reid had spent a lot of effort to get Hotch to meet his eyes but with Garcia sat opposite him and Rossi manipulating Aaron's attention it was futile. When they arrived back in D.C, Hotch sent everyone home despite the fact that it was only the afternoon. Normally paperwork would be their priority but all the rules seem to be bendable today. Everyone rushed off home except for Hotchner who made his way up to his boss's office and disappeared for hours. Reid didn't want Hotch to feel like he was being stalked or anything so he left with JJ who dropped him off at his house before retuning home to her boyfriend and son. Spencer figured that Hotch would either find him to speak to him or that his boss didn't think they had anything to talk about. Both options were as likely as the other. He would just have to wait and deal with what happened on his own. Just like always.

Reid unlocked his door and entered his appartment only to find out that Seth was here, in his kitchen, looking like he belonged. Seth had grown up quickly after what had happened when Reid was eighteen whereas Matthew had run away from his responsibility. Seth hadn't wanted to see Spencer get hurt again, which was why he'd offered him a guardianship collar. Obviously he had no legal rights over Reid since BDSM relationships weren't lawful and the rules they existed by only really mattered in their own minds, but to both of them it had meant so much. Over the years Reid had looked to Seth for advice and shelter in romantic situations, shying away from being put in the same position he had been in with Mattie and Seth even while he attempted to explore his submissive side. Reid had never been interested in rejecting the D/s lifestyle, excepting it as a part of his own personality and kinks, but he'd needed a way to safely discover it. Seth had vetoed clubs and Doms over the years and insisted that Reid ask permission before having sex with a Dominant who knew about the scene because he worried that Reid would allow himself to be pushed too far. To this day Reid had never asked, never slept with a Dom. He'd had vanilla sex with a few people in the past, girls but no men. He only went to males for Domination, he wasn't sure if it was because of how he worried females perceived him or how he perceived women or just another kink.

Even when Seth moved away to England to teach he'd stayed in contact as Reid's protector, which had been strange when he'd married but his wife was a good woman who occasionally engaged in scenes with her husband, but they had an other wise perfectly socially acceptable relationship complete with a couple of kids and a dog. She knew about Seth's past and present involvement with Reid, neither of them had ever wanted to lie to her, but the most involvement Reid had ever had with her was when she answered the phone and Reid asked to speak to Seth.

Reid wanted to say he couldn't imagine why Seth was in the US, let alone in Reid's apartment looking like he wanted to give him a fierce spanking, but the first words out of Seth's mouth answered the question for him pretty succinctly. 

“Matt called me.”

Over ten years of silence between the two best friends and all it took was Mattie to witness a few glances between Spencer and Hotch and they were on talking terms again. Those two were unbelievable.

“I haven't had a chance to talk to you in a few weeks, Seth,” Reid reminded him.

“I want to meet him,” Seth said bluntly.

“He's my boss. It was just a case, Seth, he isn't going to want me now it's over,” Reid forced the painful confession past his lips, his heart tugging as he felt inside of him the truth of those words. Hotch would never date an agent under his command, let alone a male agent ten years younger than him. Besides, Hotch was still in mourning, would be forever maybe, and he had his son to think of. He was hardly going to start going to BDSM clubs to chain Reid up and whip him until they were both panting in pleasure. The idea was absurd.

“Matt said you love him,” Seth said. Reid was figuring out fast that his old friend was pissed as hell through his inability to get more than a handful of words out at a time. Seth wasn't the smooth talker that Mattie was, but he was usually a better conversationalist than this.

The words sunk in and Reid felt a spike of anger. “What would Matthew know about me being in love? What would he even know about me, period? It isn't like he kept in contact afterwards, Seth. You're the one who put me back together after you both took your time breaking me. You I trust to know me, but I don't trust your opinion more than my own, especially when it comes to my life that has nothing to do with either of you.”

“I repented by helping you, sure, but I could never fix you, Spencer. Matt showed his remorse in other ways. He didn't let his pride get in the way when he found out people were getting hurt at the club and called you to help. He grew up, we all did,” Seth said, his voice firm. 

“Right. We all grew up, but none of us forgot the past,” Reid agreed angrily. None of them could, certainly not Reid who still had nightmares of being suspended from the ceiling in front of a dozen strangers, hands roaming his naked over-sensitive skin and his mouth gagged, unable to shout out even if he knew how to get them to stop. He'd had little understanding of safewords when he'd been their sub.

“Your anger is understandable, Spencer, but don't let it cloud your thinking. I'm not going to fail you again by letting you make another bad decision,” Seth said stubbornly.

“Maybe it isn't your decision to make!” Reid told him and stormed out of his own apartment. A part of him couldn't believe how he was acting, it reminded him of how bitchy and ungrateful he'd been towards people – especially Emily – during his time on Dilaudid. Seth was a good friend who was looking out for him. The truth was Reid didn't want Seth to meet Hotch, to see that Hotch truly didn't want him or worse, to disapprove of him and then Reid would be conflicted, wondering if he could trust his own judgement. Could he? Would he ever be able to? He headed to an all night café, needing solace and an abundance of caffeine with which to sort through the chaos of his own mind, heart, and memories.

~

Hotch had long since put his son to bed and started on the paperwork to end the case when the doorbell rang. He only hoped it wasn't another crisis. He just wanted some time, a few days, hell a few hours, to put this case into perspective. To forget the ease of Reid's submission, the seductiveness of his own dominance, the feel of Reid's hair under his hand...

Hotch was still lost in that last thought when he opened the door, finding a stranger standing on his front steps. The man was tall, probably 6'3, with a toned physique and dark blond hair that was touched with gray the the temples even though the man couldn't be more than forty. A hand was thrust out in front of him, and the stranger introduced himself, “Mr Hotchner, I'm Seth Townsend. I believe we have a mutual friend.”

“You're here about Reid,” Hotch guessed, having heard his co-worker and Matthew speak the name with enough emphasis to know he was tied up in whatever had happened when they were younger. Hotch shook the outstretched hand, noting the way the other man subtly tested his strength.

“I'm here to tell you a story,” he said, with a sad smile.

“Come in,” Hotch invited after a pause.

Once inside Hotch directed the stranger to sit on the couch, choosing himself to stay standing and lean against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Seth's eyes roamed over Hotch's form and picked up on the defensive body language. 

“We were just kids ourselves, didn't really understand anything about the BDSM scene. I'm not saying that to excuse what we did, but it's important to remember that,” Seth said, his gaze direct and honest.

“Go on,” Hotch said.

“We'd just finished college, been room mates all the way through. I'm from Texas, my folks think that gay people should be rounded up and shot before they rape our children and corrupt our Christian values. I'm not saying everyone from Texas feels that way, but my parents did and their friends did and if you wanted to be associated with the Townsend family then you did too. I was supposed to go home and marry this girl I'd known since we were in diapers but instead I stayed in Las Vegas with Matt. He was from New York City, said he knew places we could party. So for the next few months that was all we did, worked just enough to afford rent and beer, then partied until we forgot our names or the towns we'd lived in. Then one day Spencer walks into a club, we of course didn't realise he was only eighteen, working on the assumption that the bouncers bothered to check I.D.s. By the time we found out we were already responsible for hospitalizing him. We were all in over our heads, the power of the situation corrupted us completely and we didn't treat Spencer very well. I know he still has trouble remembering those times without anxiety or pain. I tried to atone by looking out for him all these years, protecting him from making the same mistake again. You saw how Matt attempted his atonement, trying to create a safe environment for people practising BDSM. Sometimes I don't think either of us succeeded,” he sighed.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Hotch asked.

“I guess I just wanted to see if you deserve his love.”

“He doesn't love me. Not sexually. My team are a family, and since Gideon left I've taken on the role of the head of the family which means I have a lot of responsibility to and authority over Reid. What happened on the case was the result of amped up emotions and a sexually charged atmosphere,” Hotch calmly reported.

“God. Do you actually believe that?” He asked with shock.

Hotch let a wry smile flash on his face. “I try to convince myself of that every day.”

“Why? Because you don't love him?”

“Because I can't be with him. He's my subordinate, and I have a responsibility to the team as a whole and to my son. I'm not a Dom and I'm not free to have a relationship with him,” even to his own ears Aaron sounded convinced. Seth nodded. 

“I'll be leaving now. Sorry to have taken up your time,” he said politely and exited the Hotchner household.

Once he was gone Aaron poured himself a large drink and didn't take an easy breath until his throat burned and his insides warmed. He reminded himself that he was the boss and this is what being responsible meant, making decisions that might not feel good but were the best thing for everyone. He went to bed that night feeling as miserable as the moment he'd unclipped Spencer's leash.

The next few days were awkward at work with everyone feeling the tension. Hotch never did get the chance to talk to Spencer but this time it was because he avoided being alone with the younger agent as much as possible. He suspected that Reid didn't know how to broach the subject or if he even should and so he allowed the unhealthy tension to fester in the air. Almost a week later and the atmosphere was starting to take it's toll on them all, Hotch had barely slept and Reid looked like he was about to shrivel up and die from the uncertainty and insecurity of the situation. It only made Hotch's decision to ignore the situation and continue on as before harder because all he wanted to do was take Reid in his arms and hold him until he believe in love again. 

On the sixth day JJ decided to interfere. She ambushed him in his office late at night, with her 'I'm not gonna take any shit from you but I am prepared to hug if there are feelings' look. She was a mom, they could totally pull off that look. 

“Can I help you?” He asked, when all she did was come in and sit opposite him.

“Can you help yourself first?” She asked pointedly. “Or just help Spencer, because we can both see he's lost and we both know why.”

“He'll be fine. Nothings changed,” Hotch insisted.

Her eyes softened. “Aaron, that's the problem. We all know how you both feel about each other. We all do our best to take care of Reid, much to his irritation, but it's because we care. He's... fragile and innocent in a way that Morgan and Emily... well, any of us really, aren't. He didn't have a normal childhood with all the love and reassurances that that comes with, or even have normal experiences like finding himself and meeting other people like him at school. The closest thing he had to that was finding BDSM in that club, and then finding us.”

“And?” Hotch wasn't sure what her point was.

“You feel more than that. Don't deny it, you've only been in love twice in your life. First it was with Haley, and now Reid. We can all see it,” she told him bluntly.

“I'm not-”

“Aaron!” 

He sighed. “He's on my team. I have responsibilities that make even thinking about it impossible.”

“He's on your team, your team who trust you and love you. We all want what's best for you. Why don't you let yourself believe that this is it for five seconds and see where you go from there?” She suggested.

“No, JJ. I can't,” he was frustrated with her for not understanding.

She smiled sadly and just shook her head. “Come with me. Let me show you something,” she said. To his surprise he did follow her. They left his office, left the bullpen, out off the offices and across the street to a waiting taxi which took them to a hotel suite. It was all very mysterious and any other day Aaron might have been amused by how 'cloak and dagger' the whole situation was turning out to be.

They strode past the check-in desk and went up in the elevator to floor seven. Down the corridor to room 724 which was situated at the end of the hall with large double doors. JJ swiped a room key and the doors opened. His whole team was inside, including Spencer who looked more than a little bit uncomfortable and nervous. Garcia was even holding his hand in support.

“What is this?” He asked.

“Reid's friend 'Seth' called us, suggested we show you how much we care about you and not about duty or obligation. This,” JJ said going to stand with her team mates and family. “Is all of us telling you we love you and want you to be happy. So be happy.”

“I just...”

“You can name a thousand reasons why this is a bad idea,” Rossi interupted his incoherent babbling. “But we can name one that trumps them all.”

“Love.”

Hotch stared at Reid, who was brave enough to say the word he couldn't even think, and at that moment he knew that he could never deny Spencer the honesty of responding. “Love,” he agreed.

Spencer smiled with the kind of happiness that only people celebrating love could feel. Hotch ignored everything in his head telling him that he shouldn't be doing this and walked towards Spencer with the intention of kissing him. “I almost didn't come,” Reid admitted when he was near.

“What changed your mind?” Aaron asked.

“I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if you died. I didn't want to regret not being brave enough to be all that I am,” he said.

“You're braver than me,” Aaron whispered.

“I've lost less,” he shrugged, like it was a small thing to risk rejection in front of all his friends, to risk his job and his safety.

Hotch didn't ever want him to regret that. He closed the gap between them and pulled Reid to him, kissing him with a gentleness that Spencer returned with passion. It felt like coming home.

“This is crazy,” Hotch panted as his team whooped and cheered.

“Then let's be crazy, while we're still alive to appreciate it,” Reid said.

“I can't be your Dom, Spencer. I'm a father and an agent and the scene is so intense. I don't know if I could do that all the time, live that way,” he said, hoping that it wasn't a deal-braker now that he'd decided to throw caution into the wind.

Spencer smiled. “That's okay. I did the whole 24/7 thing and it almost killed me. I'm more than just a sub, Aaron. As long as I can still be yours, I don't need all the bondage gear and safe words and rules. Please, just let me be yours,” he begged.

“Agreed. I'll be yours as well,” Hotch said with a smile. “Although maybe on our nights off there can still be some bondage,” he said cheekily.

“I'm definitely willing to trust you with that,” Reid kissed him again.

“Okay, so we should probably go...” Prentiss said not so subtly.

“Yeah, I have a thing,” Rossi agreed.

“Oh, but they're so sweet!” Garcia gushed.

“Come on, baby girl. I'll buy you some Mexican,” Morgan laughed as Garcia took his arm.

“Oh, and boys,” JJ interrupted them. “The room is paid for. Me and Will are taking Jack with us for the night, so enjoy yourselves!” She said as they all left.

“Oh, we will,” Hotch whispered.

“Promises, promises,” Reid replied.

“Ones I intend to keep,” Hotch assured him as they fell backward onto the bed. This was the start of something new, something risky and perhaps foolish but neither of them could bring themselves to regret it because in the end, love was what mattered and they'd fight anyone who said differently.

~ END ~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to my artist mella68 and to the mods over at bdsm_big bang for being so understanding!


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